Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
