drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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