That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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