the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just forgot I was standing up.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
