$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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