Kiss
Puke
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
