My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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