I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize