Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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