So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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