the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We need a shit load of segways right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Panties = found
Randomize