i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
