Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
