Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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