she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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