I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize