the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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