also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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