O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
