dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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