So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
please come you make the beer taste better
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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