Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
