): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
