i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
