but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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