Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
