dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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