Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Boobs are out for the taking
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
