Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize