Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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