I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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