I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
