i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
