I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
