I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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