So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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