She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no you cant smoke seaweed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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