I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
