Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
