I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
