You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
