I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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