im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
