can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
