An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
