If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
