I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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