So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
