okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
