you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
