If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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