afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize