And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
