Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How's work?
Spinning.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
