They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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