It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
