Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize