You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
