It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize