i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize