you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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