I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
