I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
