We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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