You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
