But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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